My Reason for Living...

Meet my little Sugar Bean. She is my biggest and greatest accomplishment in life. I'm so very blessed, and grateful to be her mom.

And We're Off...

My biggest challenge is having the lack of support on the home front. My husband is supportive in the sense that he wants me to do well, but not when it comes to a change in his diet. So it's hard to come up with meals that support myself yet feed my meat-and-potatoes husband. Yesterday was Monday, Day 1...and I kicked off the week with healthy foods.... (because I was running late and forgot my breakfast) I grabbed a bagel in our cafeteria. Breakfast options are SLIM to none down there... so that was the healthiest option for me over pastries and pop tarts!
Lunch I had a big salad topped with tuna (in water not oil) and a red wine vinaigrette dressing.
On my way home I stopped into Trader Joe's (which is a whole other post because I can NOT believe the fresh, organic produce you can buy and spend LESS than if you were shopping at Price Chopper!) ANYWAYS... loaded up on fresh produce. For dinner we had Weight Watchers Turkey burgers (Jake loved them!) and I had fresh green beans while he downed the ever so amazing, yet greasy, french fries! UGH the temptation!!!!

Turkey burgers recipe1lb Turkey Meat
1 TBSP Soy Sauce
1 TBSP Ketchup
1 Tsp minced garlic
1/3 c. shredded cheese
Season w/ pepper

Mix together and cook in skillet until no more pink!
I used toasted wheat buns
Fresh greens, tomatoes, and onion.

Total Points: 6
Makes 4 burgers

Spring is around the corner

Once again..I have failed you! Another few months go by and here I am...back to update you again.
Gracie Mae arrived December 2nd... the next 10 days God put our new parenting skills to the test when Gracie was admitted to the NICU for a bacterial infection. Never in my life have I been more emotional/stressed/sore/exhausted/sad/frustrated in my life. Jake and I powered through those 10 days and we were finally released to come home. Gracie is doing great. After the craziness of the holidays, the start of the new year..and my return to work... we are FINALLY settling into a routine. Grace is a mere 2 weeks from turning 3 months old! My how time seriously flies. Nevertheless.. I'm loving EVERY minute of being a mom.
Also, we have come full circle the last year and I am back struggling with weight loss...for different reasons of course. I have a mere 10 pounds to lose before reaching my official 'pre-preggo weight'.. from there I am back on track to shed the remaining weight to get to my goal.
I have revamped the blog to focus on positives and motivations for myself. The journey for weight loss is a long road and sometimes it gets lonely! A strong support system is key along with sharing your experiences with everyone. People should celebrate with you for every pound you lose!
This time around I'm doing the 'Ashley Version' of Weight Watchers. Due to an additional human being in our life...and our income... the money just isn't as available as it once was this time last year.

I hope you will follow along in my journey. I promise to keep you updated with each passing week.

Monday is Day 1!

First comes stress...then comes baby...

I am stressed to the max. I know, I know... it's not good to be stressed... it doesn't help the baby. But I feel completely and totally unprepared for the future. I'm a planner by nature... which is a curse and a blessing in one.
Every single girlfriend has told me upon having a kid the financial aspect of your life just works. What does that mean? How does it just work? I don't want to be a mom that spends every moment of their life working because they have to. I don't want to be a mom that spends their time at home when they should be working causing major debt to occur. I just want to be somewhere in the middle and its hard as hell to find a content ground.
We are trying to get our house on the market..but of course devastating news came last night and I just don't see it as a possibility. We can definitely get what we owe on the house no problem... but the taxes for the year, the realtor fees, and whatever else on the list is causing us to come up with anywhere between $7,000 and $9,5000.00. I can't even fathom what any of those numbers looks like in real life because I've never held that much money in my hand. So here we sit...stuck. I'm trying not to be angry or a complete emotional mess..so I do just that....sit...feeling defeated and feeling stuck.
I'm not sure how people do it. I honestly don't get it. It baffles me. I know the expenses we are about to take on with our blessed miracle.... and all I can hope and pray that either my husband or I get some sort of raise in this pathetic economy.
I know, I know...negative nelly. I'm trying to look on the bright side. I'm trying to be thankful for all the things I should be thankful for. Nothing in my life has been an easy task... I'm not sure why after my dream of having a baby came true things would be any different.  

Silence is Golden

I have been abnormally quiet lately. I've been withdrawn from the crowd a bit, and definitely trying to keep to myself. I was kicked out of Weight Watchers and I have missed multiple days of work the month of April. Not like me you say? Well yes. I agree! So what's my deal? Well folks. April 4th I went to the doctor to do some blood work. After almost a year of having horrible hormonal issues, and meds and the in and out doctor's appointments....The results are in. I'm pregnant!
SHOCKED to say the least! Boy oh boy has life taken a turn for the crazy. The past few weeks alone have been a whirlwind. I immediately went to the doctor on April 7th for my first OB appointment. After routine urine and blood samples..I was pretty much handed a giant blue bag full of 'how to be pregnant' manuals/magazines/pamphlets, followed with samples of prenatal pills and a list of basic "To Do's". The following Monday April 11th I received a call from my doctor's office asking me to come in THAT day for an Ultrasound. My progesterone from my bloodwork was a little low so they wanted to make sure the baby was okay. Giving me barely 30 minutes notice, my husband rushed from work breaking the sound barrier to make it to our baby's first appointment. We arrived...and we were so blessed to see this tiny little thing inside me. Yes folks. It looks like a seahorse.... alien....thing. But I don't care. We were able to see a strong 144-120 beats per minute on the screen. They put me at approximately 7 weeks.
So here I am a few weeks later prepping for my doctor's appointment this upcoming Friday, April 29th. This appointment I should be able to hear a heartbeat and have another ultrasound to see how things are going. I'm nervous as all get out right now. I've been taking my progesterone pills daily. I am hoping for good news on Friday.
SO...for obvious reasons..... my blog has taken a bit of a turn. But it is called surviving this crazy thing called life for a reason.... I'm surviving. Now my plans are no longer to work my butt off to lose weight... but instead to work my butt off to be healthy not just for me but for this little tiny little prune-size thing inside me :) God has blessed me with a wonderful opportunity. One a lot of women do not have the chance to do anymore. There is not a day that goes by that I stop and take a moment to thank God for the wonderful miracle he has blessed my husband and I with.
Please join in celebrating me!!!!

Spring Break or Just Take a Break...

No weigh in this week for me. We are on 'Spring Break' apparently; yet I am not finding myself at a beach with college friends. I think I can officially call myself old when I laugh at people who take a Spring Break. I work. Most of us work through Spring Break.

No major topic of discussion but without a weigh in this week I think a bit of reflection is in order since it has been a few months since this whole process of self discovery began. This morning when I logged on I realized it was going to be an "Eat Pray Love" kind of day. Immediately, I searched Elizabeth Gilbert for quotes for inspiration/motivation to get me through this day. It's dreary outside, as it has been for days. We live in the Midwest not Seattle!

My life is going smoothly. I'm on my meds that make me ever so sick. A doctor appointment scheduled on Monday to update my blood work. Prayers are requested/needed/appreciated as I wait patiently for what the results may be. Good news... that's all I want. My weight loss has been a rough path traveled; however, I am staying on board and exercising multiples times a week on the treadmill. The healthy mindset has done wonders for my motivation and even though I've slipped up a handful of times, I get back on and keep on a truckin'.

Life with my family is good. Husband/wife life is great. Friends are good as well. Socially, I feel like there are always areas I can improve on. I'm working hard to remember to be me for me and not anyone else. Just like my health, there have been a handful of moments where I have slipped up and failed getting sucked into the 'drama' but then I retreat and bring myself back to normalcy. My safe haven is my home, with my husband and our dog.

Spiritually, I'm doing better. I really enjoyed my bible study group. I felt like it was a chance to meet new people. I dedicated myself to the 6 weeks and so far I have enjoyed myself. Our next session starts in May so the month of April I'm taking it easy. Attending church more is important to me; however, we have managed to attend a few times through our 6 week study. It's always refreshing and it gives me optimism.

I think that about updates everyone on life. There is much more in the works for not only myself but our family as well as we make preparations for my dad's departure this summer to Afghanistan. The next few months will be the most important. As always, prayers/support are always appreciated and never go unnoticed.

A Balancing Act....

Hello all,

I have had another successful week! :) After my big treadmill purchase! I was able to shed another 2.0lbs! The greatest part is, I have finally hit my 5% body weight mark! I'm down officially 11.2lbs. I think it's a relief to finally be over the 10lb slump. This week I plan to hit it hard and keep working on the treadmill!

I haven't really updated on another further in my life other than the weight loss. I have completed a full small group study with the ladies at Rock Brook church. After spending 6 weeks with them I am starting to feel a bit more accepted. It's definitely hard to fall into a crowd when everyone has been so close for so long. I think the study was a great opener for me. We did the 40 weeks of Love. I learned so much from forgiveness to learning to fight with a spouse to learning about my needs and where I need growth in my life.

Since January, I feel I am still in a really good place. I am working hard to focus on myself. Last night I had dinner with my best friend and told her there are a lot times I feel so selfish. I think I announce what I eat on a daily basis to people. I spend so much time telling people about me, that I have forgotten to still consider the needs of others. It is hard to find the balance between the two.

As always, prayers and support is ALWAYS welcome and appreciated. It has been such a motivation to know people are watching me and helping me along the way.
Love you all~